I dusted off the roadie bike today for my participation in The Great Portable Toilet Challenge.  I needed to achieve maximum speed because three other Cycle365ers have already posted porta-potty entries ahead of me.  I mean, this was MY challenge, and it sure wouldn’t look good if I was the last one to meet it.

It was a good day, alright.  It was a warm day, it was a sunny day, it was my longest bike riding day of the year so far, and it was a 3-porta-potty-day.

As I rode into the Minnesota countryside, I gave quite a lot of thought to how Porta-johns are quite an important invention. Seriously, I don’t think major outdoor rock concerts could exist without them.  Same with huge organized bike tours like RAGBRAI.  Same with large constructions sites.  Without portable toilets, no roads or skyscrapers or schools or government office buildings would get built.  I wouldn’t want to live in such a world.

Even so, I’d rather not use them.  I prefer to go in the wide open spaces of the great outdoors–assuming there is some degree of privacy.  On occasion, I have peed right next to a porta-john rather than go inside.  That’s exactly what I did when I came across the oddly-placed portable toilet below.


Out here, heavy equipment operators get their own personal biffy.


Later–like 20 miles later–I found another one.  I drank plenty of water on my ride, but I didn’t feel the need to urinate inside OR outside of this one.


I do not know why there is a fence around three sides of this one.


And I was within a mile of my house when I found the next one.  By that time I really had to go.  I made a video.



I know that outhouse video might have looked like it was scripted, but it was actually a completely live recording of actual events. [1]



[1]  That sentence is a lie.  Gregblood saw Rich’s picture of a small outhouse and he remembered that he had one very similar to that.  Then he came up with a scheme to include that little mousetrap outhouse in his own post.




Hi. My name is Greg and I ride my bike a lot. That is to say, I ride my bike almost every day. I go on long rides and short rides. Sunny rides, cloudy rides, and rainy rides. I like commuting, errand-running, day-tripping, overnighting, and touring on my bike. I ride on city streets, highways, gravel, single track, and snow with equal enthusiasm. Sometimes I ride fast and sometimes I ride slow. I try to keep my feet on the pedals at stop lights and I do not dismount when I hop up on a curb. I have a roadie bike, a mountain bike and a touring bike. I try to accept any challenge a bike ride can throw at me without complaint. But I don't like bugs.

13 response to "A GOOD DAY IS A 3-PORTA-POTTY-DAY"

  1. By: Rich-Illinois Posted: April 20, 2019

    That really is a Laugh Out Loud!!!
    Absolutely brilliant!

  2. By: Lednar De Nalloh Posted: April 20, 2019

    He was sprung. Never seem anyone go into a porta toilet with a bike before. Well done.

  3. By: Bill Stone Posted: April 20, 2019

    When you gotta go, find a garceau.

    Those in the know, use a garceau.

    If your bladder says “Whoa,” it’s time for a garceau.

    Why settle for a stinky Hiltz when you can enjoy a clean garceau?

    Two or one, one or two, our garceau is the place for you.

    Porta Johns or porta potties, our garceaus are fine little hotties.

    Sparkling clean and smelling sweet, our garceaus just can’t be beat.

    There once was a Garceau named Greg,
    Who pedaled hard with his strong right leg,
    When his bladder began to ache
    A quick pit stop he had to take
    That’s what happens after pumpkin latte with nutmeg.

    • By: gregblood Posted: April 21, 2019

      I’m sorry to have to say it, but those poems were BAD.

      • By: Bill Stone Posted: April 21, 2019

        Potential marketing slogans for the massive TV, radio, online, and print advertising campaign for the Garceau line of port-a-potties!

        Except for the limerick. Didn’t you have a pumpkin latte or something like that while coffeeneuring?

        Anyway, I’ll keep trying to perfect all these and add more.

        • By: gregblood Posted: April 21, 2019

          Yes, I did have a pumpkin-y latte of some kind. Thanks for reminding me of that horrible concoction in your Limerick.

  4. By: The Navigator Posted: April 21, 2019

    Very clever. Poor G2. I feel pretty attached to my bike, too, but maybe not so attached that it has to come in the toilet with me.

    • By: Seasidejanet Posted: April 21, 2019

      Several of our ‘field offices’ are large enough to bring the bike in…….and we do. There is such an issue with stolen bikes here we tend to take them everywhere if we can😂😂

        • By: The Navigator Posted: April 21, 2019

          So I feel really lucky that I live and ride somewhere that I can live my bike outside a toilet with no lock with no worries. I don’t even carry a lock with me here on rides. If I were in a more urban area, I would, but that’s not where I like to ride anyway. I didn’t even carry a lock with me on the last 10-day tour I did in 2017 since I was only going to be in small towns.

    • By: Rich-Illinois Posted: April 21, 2019

      Yeah, I was just thinking, with a new Salsa soon, you may want to reconsider.

      • By: The Navigator Posted: April 21, 2019

        In the spirit of Back to the Future… “Toilets, we don’t need no toilets where that Salsa is going”.

        The rides that I have in mind for that bike will be lucky to have a single-seater pit toilet anywhere… I really don’t think we’ll come across many toilets on the 4WD tracks I’ll use that bike on!

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