A SERIOUS, TWO-DAY CASE OF MONOCHROMITIS

Oh yeah, Monochromitis is a very real medical condition.  The Harvard Journal of Diseases & Stuff defines it this way:

  • “A psychological disorder in which a person – usually a bicycle rider – compulsively searches for items of similar color for the sole purpose of taking a photograph.  His or her obsession is so powerful that he or she will resort to extreme measures if such monochrome colors are not found.  Such extreme measures include, but are not limited to, angling the camera to eliminate any colors that don’t fit the desired color scheme; simply denying that non-monochromatic colors are even in the picture; and, in very extreme cases, actually believing the whole world is one color.”

Unfortunately, people who suffer from Monochromitis carry the stigma of being “a little out-there” just because they stop paying attention to traffic while scanning the horizon for photo-ops, or because they stop to perfectly position their bikes and then very publicly lay down on the ground or stand on their tippy-toes to get the perfect angle for their pictures.  When will people start showing a little understanding for victims of Monochromitis?

Please view the following pictures.  If they move you enough to make you want to donate to Monochromitis Research, please e-mail me and I’ll send you my PayPal info.

 

Gray-blue, no bike.

 

In the paint industry we called these “natural tones.”

 

Simply reds–and no other colors at all. NICE!

 

Yellow! A wider angle might have revealed more grays, browns, greens, and black. But that’s not how I, as a Monochromic, do things.

 

More blues. Even the gravel under the bike is blue in my view.

 

Yellow sign. Yellow sun. That’s all there is.

 

Yellows are so beautiful. Obviously the flowers are pure yellow, and they blend in nicely with a new form of yellow that I recently l learned about. It’s called “blellow.”

 

Well, that will be all for this month’s challenge.  I’ll report back with next month’s medical condition.  I’ll be on a bike tour in the Washington, Oregon, Idaho area.

Hi. My name is Greg and I ride my bike a lot. That is to say, I ride my bike almost every day. I go on long rides and short rides. Sunny rides, cloudy rides, and rainy rides. I like commuting, errand-running, day-tripping, overnighting, and touring on my bike. I ride on city streets, highways, gravel, single track, and snow with equal enthusiasm. Sometimes I ride fast and sometimes I ride slow. I try to keep my feet on the pedals at stop lights and I do not dismount when I hop up on a curb. I have a roadie bike, a mountain bike and a touring bike. I try to accept any challenge a bike ride can throw at me without complaint. But I don't like bugs.

13 response to "A SERIOUS, TWO-DAY CASE OF MONOCHROMITIS"

  1. By: Bill Stone Posted: July 8, 2019

    Shocked, I am shocked to learn the paint industry actually hires Monochromics. Why, there ought to be a law….

    • By: gregblood Posted: July 8, 2019

      They were forced to hire me by the Americans with Disabilities Act.

  2. By: Rich-Illinois Posted: July 8, 2019

    Yes, reading further in The Harvard Journal of Diseases & Stuff — it has been determined that this condition often occurs after being exposed to Scooteriscolorwheelis.

    It is a serious, but treatable, condition.

    • By: gregblood Posted: July 8, 2019

      Yes, it is treatable . . . with intense psychotherapy and/or electroshock treatments. It ain’t fun.

      • By: NancyG Posted: July 8, 2019

        I wonder if you mean ‘psycolisttherpy’. I have read little of this therapy but it may be an apt follow up for treatment.

  3. By: MrGrumby Posted: July 8, 2019

    I’ve donated 10 Turkish Lira to the cause in your name.
    Also, it’s interesting that since the very recent discovery of Blellow, it’s appearing everywhere.

    • By: gregblood Posted: July 9, 2019

      Not only is Blellow appearing everywhere, but it’s also fun to say. I’ve been using the word regularly and it’s a good word to have in my vocabulary because next week I’ll be in Washington – The Everblellow State.

  4. By: Bill Stone Posted: July 8, 2019

    Tell us about your upcoming tour. And where is the journal? Try to avoid bolts sticking out of light poles!

    • By: gregblood Posted: July 9, 2019

      I have a couple of ideas for dealing with those flesh-ripping bolts this year. One idea is to stop at all light poles and slowly walk my bike around them. The second one is to wear a protective suit of body armor at all times. Or maybe I’ll do both.

      My tour will be a three week loop in WA, OR, ID, and BC. I have the introductory pages up on Crazyguy and will post them soon on Cycleblaze too. I don’t know if I’ll be able to keep it up-to-date on both sites, but I guess I’ll see how it goes.

  5. By: Seasidejanet Posted: July 10, 2019

    So much to learn and now you throw us a new one “bi-cycle” post guy!! Or would it just be “bicycle” guy? Who knew……

    • By: gregblood Posted: July 10, 2019

      Two bikes in one post does make me a bi-cycle guy, I think. Just wait. One day you will see that I am TRI-cycle guy.

  6. By: Suzanne Posted: July 11, 2019

    The disease is devastating. It’s supposed to last only a month, but I am afraid it is going to have lasting, color-conscious effects.

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