Cycle365 Recognizes New Poet Laureate
According to a press release issued by the highly esteemed Cycle365 website this morning, Gregory S. (Gregblood) Garceau has been recognized as the official Poet Laureate of the bicycling world. The announcement was a MAJOR disappointment to 95% of the readership who backed the more mature works of “Suzanne” and “Mrs. Grumby.” There were even a few votes for “Bobinvt” for his one-time poem, Perhaps I Could Rhyme Given Lots of Time.”
Ever so humble, even the reclusive Gregblood himself couldn’t believe he won the award. “I do not deserve this recognition,” he said, “but if that’s the decision of the committee, who am I to argue?”
According to Scooter, the chairman of the poetry committee, the clincher was Gregbloods freebie limerick about a phoebe. Indeed, any devotee of poetry can see it is a work of deep thought and intense manipulation of words and rhymes. Rarely has a poem explored the reality of the birdalogical world like this one did.
The Text of the New Poet Laureate’s Acceptance Speech
I hastily composed this little ditty To thank the Cycle365 committee For bestowing upon me this incredible honor My one claim to fame before I'm a goner. Imagine ME, born of humble beginnings and minimal brain, Becoming a poet laureate -- well that's just insane! Yet here I am, making history For my nonsensical wordsmith-ery. T.S. Eliot was a pretty good poet, I'm told. "I grow old, I grow old, I shall wear my trousers rolled." But he never became a poet laureate of Cycle365, I think he was too serious and that's no jive. In conclusion, I accept this award of distinction, Though my poems are more notable for their dis-STINKtion, I'll try to be the great laureate you expect of me, But right now the only rhyme I can think of is "Zuider Zee."
With that, Gregblood dropped the mic and raced off the stage.