Cold, cold, cold

I had other deeds I needed to accomplish today, but I made a little time for a short ride. I wanted to show solidarity with my comrades in places like South Dakota, Minnesota, and Illinois, who — in the face of the polar vortex — no doubt ventured out on two wheels today wearing nothing but shorts and sleeveless shirts in order to earn the highly coveted Order of the Frozen Meat. That medal can be awarded only to those riders who refuse to be tamed by sub-zero temperatures and bone-chilling winds, and I know the bicyclists of SD, MN, and IL qualify. My frozen statues of ice, I salute you!

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They call me Old Grumble-Face. I have no idea why they do that....

5 response to "Cold, cold, cold"

  1. By: Rich-Illinois Posted: January 30, 2019

    Why, thank you sir!
    Who knew tires and tubes could shatter like glass — that 72 spokes and rims could disintegrate to dust — that alloy handlebars could crystallize to shards — that the crankset could snap with the slighest pressure — that the chain and freewheel (its an old bicycle 😉 ) could fly into hundreds pieces — that the frame tubes would shrink and fall from the lugs?

    All of this happens when temperatures approach 0 degrees Kelvin.
    But, I defer the Order of Frozen Meat to Greg and Greg who discovered that, in fact, Kelvin DOES go into negative numbers.

    (Maybe I will wear a doo rag under my helmet if this happens again.)

    • By: Bill Stone Posted: January 30, 2019

      When temperatures approach absolute zero, I strongly recommend you should wear a scrap of fabric under your helmet, and perhaps consider wearing full-fingered gloves.

      • By: Rich-Illinois Posted: January 30, 2019

        Here is one you can take to the Ripley Museum:
        On Monday, predicted high temperature is 52F!

        All together now, lets croon:

        By thy rivers gently flowing, Illinois, Illinois,
        O’er thy prairies verdant growing, Illinois, Illinois,
        Comes an echo on the breeze.
        Rustling through the leafy trees, and its mellow tones are these, Illinois, Illinois,
        And its mellow tones are these, Illinois.

        They obviously overlooked our lovely climate.

  2. By: Lednar De Nalloh Posted: January 30, 2019

    They’re tough guys no doubt, I would have moved south years ago. I think Emily deserves the highly coveted award The order of the Fried Egg on Road too.

    • By: Bill Stone Posted: January 30, 2019

      Good point. Your comments bring to mind a new award. In a calendar year, measure the highest temp and the lowest temp in which your bicycling takes place. The person with the biggest differential between high and low temperatures during the year wins the Most Extreme award. For me, that would probably only amount to about 50 or 60 degrees F. I reckon our boys in SD, MN, and IL would be likely to win the trophy.

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