The Boy Who Chose to Ignore Multiple Warning Signs and Take His Chances: A Bedtime Story With Pictures

Once there was a very nice boy who lived in the magical land of MY Town. His name, Gregblood, was rather macabre, but that’s okay because his friendly demeanor more than made up for the horrible images of blood-spattered crime scenes or battlefields. So, while this fairy tale might be a little scary at times, both children and adults can rest assured that there was no bloodshed today.

Little Gregblood — as nice as he is — has two little problems:

1) After he rides his bicycle every day (that part isn’t the problem) his life seems to be so pathetic that he’s got nothing better to do afterward than to go to his magic typewriter and spread his words throughout all of fairy land via a mind-blowing postal system that flies invisibly through the air (that’s the problematic part.)

2) But the more serious problem is that Gregblood has no respect for authority, no sense of risk aversion. Read on to see how he fared today with that kind of attitude.

“That sign only applies to automobiles and motorcycles and farm tractors and commercial vehicles,” said young Gregblood to his cute roadbike. “WE will not be taking the detour.”

“Hello, Mr. Road Closed Sign,” said the boy when he turned onto Highway 47. “Thank you for the message, but I think I’ll just ride on a little further.”

Exactly one-mile later, another Road Closed Ogre popped out and tried to scare the little boy away.
It’s okay, Ogre, I’m just going to go a little further and then turn around,” Gregblood lied.

While Gregblood was becoming increasingly defiant, his loyal — and more cautious — speaking bicycle said, “Maybe we should turn around now. A few extra miles of detour can’t be THAT bad.”

“Speaking Bicycle,” Gregblood countered, “I’ve been doing this for many years and I have yet to see a road construction zone that I can’t ride a bike through, or at least walk around. If I have to, I’ll lift you onto my shoulder and carry you through the rough stuff.”

To ease the mind of his speaking bicycle, Gregblood took him to the airport. Perhaps the sight of flying mechanical birds would relieve some of the bike’s anxiety.

“I think I’m ready to proceed now,” said the loyal, speaking bike in appreciation. “I feel much more relaxed.”

As if the twosome hadn’t had enough adventure, they passed a striped field of enchantment.

The brave boy and his speaking bicycle had only been back on the paved road for a couple of minutes when an orange monster tried to impede their progress. “Turn back now before all hope is lost,” it cried.

And another orange monster repeated the warning 750 feet later. What next? Another orange monster at 500 feet? At 250 feet? At 100 feet?

An emboldened speaking bicycle shouted out, “F-you, orange monster.”
“Hold on there, speaking bicycle, watch your language,” Gregblood admonished. “Moms and dads are reading this to their children.”

The orange and white gates guarding the hell ahead was certainly daunting, yet our heroes were able to squeeze through. Soon they encountered a road grader and a pickup truck with flashing lights. The drivers of both of those vehicles didn’t seem to care at all. They just waved.

The pair successfully navigated the construction zone, but that wasn’t the end of their dangerous expedition. The nice boy had to go potty. And the speaking bicycle had to relieve itself of some excess grease. Unfortunately, the only place available was the scary forest of corn stalks. They aren’t called “stalks” for nothing, cuz they’ll stalk unsuspecting kids and bikes mercilessly.

“No, not here,” said the talking bicycle. “These corn stalks are too dense and they’re twice my height. We’ll never escape their evil clutches.”

“Yes, this is a much better spot to do our business.”

Thanks to their good judgement, talking bike and Gregblood survived that frightening situation too. In celebration, they filmed one more video as they got back to the magical land of MY Town.


Hi. My name is Greg and I ride my bike a lot. That is to say, I ride my bike almost every day. I go on long rides and short rides. Sunny rides, cloudy rides, and rainy rides. I like commuting, errand-running, day-tripping, overnighting, and touring on my bike. I ride on city streets, highways, gravel, single track, and snow with equal enthusiasm. Sometimes I ride fast and sometimes I ride slow. I try to keep my feet on the pedals at stop lights and I do not dismount when I hop up on a curb. I have a roadie bike, a mountain bike and a touring bike. I try to accept any challenge a bike ride can throw at me without complaint. But I don't like bugs.

12 response to "The Boy Who Chose to Ignore Multiple Warning Signs and Take His Chances: A Bedtime Story With Pictures"

  1. By: Rocky Posted: July 30, 2020

    You’ve really outdone yourself! I laughed hysterically!! I really needed a good laugh after being trapped in the bathroom 20 minutes waiting for Scott to get back to the air bnb and rescue me.

    • By: gregblood Posted: July 30, 2020

      Oh no! I can’t believe you got trapped in a bathroom AGAIN!

      • By: Scooter Posted: July 30, 2020

        At least I didn’t need to carve a hole in the door to get her out this time,

  2. By: gregblood Posted: July 30, 2020

    Oh, I remember that story well. The ride down that jeep road was a great adventure and it proved you and Rocky were Tough Guys. (As if we really needed any proof.)

  3. By: NancyG Posted: July 30, 2020

    What a wonderful bedtime story. Except for the f-word uttered by speaking bike.😏

    • By: gregblood Posted: July 31, 2020

      The f-word wasn’t the f-word you’re thinking of. It’s a new word f-word we’ve learned recently — Foop.

      • By: NancyG Posted: July 31, 2020

        Thank goodness for that!

        A friend of mine was preparing to go on an adventure with her husband and Grands. She off handedly said “I gotta get my Sh.. together”. Her Grandson asked “your pip?”. She said yes, I gotta get my PIP together.” From then on many of us who are mutual friends refer to our sh.. as PIP, whether we are with her (Linda) or not. It has now become very natural to use pip. ;’-). Just as you have learned about foop.

  4. By: Lednar De Nalloh Posted: July 31, 2020

    Disobeying street signs, what’s next? You might had a bad case of ODD or maybe cabin fever being stuck in YOUR town, when you could be cycle touring.

  5. By: Suzanne Posted: July 31, 2020

    Road closed? Of course they don’t mean you. Glad you weren’t intimidated, those signs are only for cars, right?

  6. By: Bill Stone Posted: July 31, 2020

    Hey, did you and the talking bike happen to spot Shoeless Joe Jackson in that cornfield?

  7. By: Rich-Illinois Posted: July 31, 2020

    Hee hee! Good one!

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