Most of you can skip reading these first two paragraphs of this post, as well as the video that follows. Their only purpose is to, once again, defend my tough-guy stature. I know, I know, last time I vowed to ignore anybody else who dared to dare me. However, this time I am responding to a comment that wasn’t exactly a dare, but more of a subtle hint that I may have been exaggerating my ability to perform a perfect headstand. Now, it’s certainly understandable why people would question whether a doofus like me is capable of executing such an astonishingly amazing stunt, but you should know that I take headstanding very seriously. It is the one skill I possess that has made me famous all over the world. You probably remember a few decades ago when a talented young fifth-grader at St. Francis Xavier Elementary School in Dyersville, Iowa outlasted his entire gym class in a headstanding contest. (By far, I might add.) Well, that talented young fifth-grader was ME.
Therefore, this video should be quite easy for an accomplished headstander such as myself. In fact, it should be SO easy that I plan to add a little extra touch to my performance. I call it “HeadStand-Up Comedy.” Like the famous stand-up comedian, Rodney Dangerfield, I don’t get no respect either.
Hopefully that will satisfy all you Doubting Thomas’s and Doubting Janets out there. Note that there were no strings or cables holding me up. No special effects. Feet together. Toes pointed. And I could have stood upside down all day like that, but doing so would have taken way too long to upload to YouTube, so I discontinued the headstand after I ran out of hilarious jokes.
Now that I’ve gotten that out of the way, we can move on to the more important bicycling part of my day. I am pleased to show you a few photos of some great St. Paul monuments, and even a little liquid, without having to constantly remind you about my incredible feats of balancing magic. Yes, the feats are wonderful and astounding, but this post is about St. Paul, not ME! So try to forget about the marvelous video you just saw, and concentrate on the beauty of Minnesota’s capitol city.
I hope you enjoyed my selfless tour of St. Paul. After many years of experience, I’ve learned that sometimes you just have to get over yourself–and your amazing abilities–and just appreciate the wonders of a great city.