AN ARTICLE FROM THE NEW YORK TIMES’ ARTS AND ENTERTAINMENT SECTION

Cycle365 Recognizes New Poet Laureate

According to a press release issued by the highly esteemed Cycle365 website this morning, Gregory S. (Gregblood) Garceau has been recognized as the official Poet Laureate of the bicycling world. The announcement was a MAJOR disappointment to 95% of the readership who backed the more mature works of “Suzanne” and “Mrs. Grumby.” There were even a few votes for “Bobinvt” for his one-time poem, Perhaps I Could Rhyme Given Lots of Time.”

Ever so humble, even the reclusive Gregblood himself couldn’t believe he won the award. “I do not deserve this recognition,” he said, “but if that’s the decision of the committee, who am I to argue?”

According to Scooter, the chairman of the poetry committee, the clincher was Gregbloods freebie limerick about a phoebe. Indeed, any devotee of poetry can see it is a work of deep thought and intense manipulation of words and rhymes. Rarely has a poem explored the reality of the birdalogical world like this one did.

When informed of being named “The Poet Laureate of Cycle365,” Gregblood was studying the works of T.S. Eliot. He pretends to like serious poetry, even though he doesn’t understand the inner meanings. He just likes how the words sound together. And he always wears his helmet while reading serious poetry, because serious poetry can be intellectually DANGEROUS. And he always wears a tie when reading serious poetry because it projects an image of being a serious person.

The Text of the New Poet Laureate’s Acceptance Speech

I hastily composed this little ditty
To thank the Cycle365 committee
For bestowing upon me this incredible honor
My one claim to fame before I'm a goner.

Imagine ME, born of humble beginnings and minimal brain,
Becoming a poet laureate -- well that's just insane!
Yet here I am, making history
For my nonsensical wordsmith-ery.

T.S. Eliot was a pretty good poet, I'm told.
"I grow old, I grow old, I shall wear my trousers rolled."
But he never became a poet laureate of Cycle365,
I think he was too serious and that's no jive.

In conclusion, I accept this award of distinction,
Though my poems are more notable for their dis-STINKtion,
I'll try to be the great laureate you expect of me,
But right now the only rhyme I can think of is "Zuider Zee."


With that, Gregblood dropped the mic and raced off the stage.

In a totally impromptu moment, Gregblood contemplates the poetic relationship between “me” and “Zuider Zee.” He declares, “It is good.”

Hi. My name is Greg and I ride my bike a lot. That is to say, I ride my bike almost every day. I go on long rides and short rides. Sunny rides, cloudy rides, and rainy rides. I like commuting, errand-running, day-tripping, overnighting, and touring on my bike. I ride on city streets, highways, gravel, single track, and snow with equal enthusiasm. Sometimes I ride fast and sometimes I ride slow. I try to keep my feet on the pedals at stop lights and I do not dismount when I hop up on a curb. I have a roadie bike, a mountain bike and a touring bike. I try to accept any challenge a bike ride can throw at me without complaint. But I don't like bugs.

10 response to "AN ARTICLE FROM THE NEW YORK TIMES’ ARTS AND ENTERTAINMENT SECTION"

  1. By: Suzanne Posted: January 19, 2021

    In honor of our deserving poet laureate, I humbly proffer my poem, adhering strictly to traditional haiku rules of the 5-7-5 syllable pattern, a reference to the seasons and the last line a non sequitur:

    o speechless I am
    beret and t. s. eliot
    winter snow brings joy

    • By: gregblood Posted: January 20, 2021

      Is there such a thing
      as co-poet laureate
      for haiku greatness?

  2. By: Rocky Posted: January 19, 2021

    Wonderful acceptance speech! Thanks for keeping us laughing during the hard times!

  3. By: Scooter Posted: January 19, 2021

    Sorry, Mr. Garceau. We know what you’re doing here, but only one Cycle365 award per calendar year can be granted to the same individual. You might consider submitting this again next year for the good humor award though.

  4. By: NancyG Posted: January 21, 2021

    It is indeed an honor to know and bike with and write with someone so honored.

    • By: gregblood Posted: January 21, 2021

      Thank you, Nancy. And after seeing our National Youth Poet Laureate recite her poem at yesterday’s inauguration, I feel my own responsibility as a fellow poet laureate increase ten-fold. Amanda Gorman was amazing. Loved the phrasing. Worthy of praising. Trail blazing. Mind dazing. Bring it on, Amanda.

      • By: Scooter Posted: January 21, 2021

        Wasn’t that astonishing though? I was thoroughly moved by the entire inauguration ceremony, but watching and hearing Amanda Gorman was overwhelming. What a gift to us all.

      • By: NancyG Posted: January 22, 2021

        She was (is) nothing but amazing.

  5. By: Rich-Illinois Posted: January 21, 2021

    Amanda Gorman has a worried look these days.

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