The Dumbest Thing I’ve Ever Done (and that’s sayin’ something)

That’s right, today I surpassed the stupidest stupidity of my stupid cycling career. Or maybe it was yesterday that I achieved the height of stupidity. I’m not exactly sure. Let me tell the story. The Feeshko and I drove back to Iowa yesterday. My dad had a medical appointment to keep and it was in … Continue reading "The Dumbest Thing I’ve Ever Done (and that’s sayin’ something)"

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THE NORTHEAST IOWA TOURISM BROCHURE FOR CYCLISTS: Part Three

A QUICK SUMMARY OF THE FIRST TWO PARTS OF THIS HIGHLY INFORMATIVE, TOTALLY NUTTY, MILDLY SATIRICAL, IOWA CHAMBER OF COMMERCE-APPROVED TOURISM BROCHURE FOR CYCLISTS: First I covered the cultural stuff for which Iowa is super-famous. Then I wrote about Iowa’s historical, scenical, landscapical, and national parkical highlights. Now comes part three. Today I will be … Continue reading "THE NORTHEAST IOWA TOURISM BROCHURE FOR CYCLISTS: Part Three"

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THE NORTHEAST IOWA TOURISM BROCHURE FOR CYCLISTS: Part Two

As you may recall from yesterday, the first part of my tourism brochure concentrated on the amenities Iowa has to offer to the jet-set crowd: The fine dining, the night life, the luxury accommodations, the world-class shopping, etc. Today I’ll be presenting Part Two of the brochure. As promised, it will be geared toward those … Continue reading "THE NORTHEAST IOWA TOURISM BROCHURE FOR CYCLISTS: Part Two"

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THE NORTHEAST IOWA TOURISM BROCHURE FOR CYCLISTS: Part One

The Feeshko, Diggity, The Reckless Mr. Bing Bong and I drove down to Iowa for the Fourth of July Weekend, which includes the birthday of American independence, and even bigger than that, the birthday of ME. It was an impromptu visit, motivated by an auto accident in which my dad was involved. He was very … Continue reading "THE NORTHEAST IOWA TOURISM BROCHURE FOR CYCLISTS: Part One"

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I’m Trying To Do The Best I Can In My Own Challenge

I’ve been happy to see a few July “Face” Challenge posts already. I must say, the pictures have all been worthy of the fine grades I’ve given them. It makes me feel like I succeeded in making the challenge not too impossible, but it also makes me feel like my students are smarter than ME. … Continue reading "I’m Trying To Do The Best I Can In My Own Challenge"

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The NEW July Challenge

Hi folks, Czar Greg here again. In the few short minutes since I posted “The River-Riding-Vulture-Fleeing-Eagle-Swooping Video Challenge,” I have gotten a flood of very negative feedback. I’ve been rudely reminded of my pledge not to make nearly impossible challenges. People have refused to participate in such a specific challenge. Some of them have promised … Continue reading "The NEW July Challenge"

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SPECIAL REPORT: Czar Issues the July Challenge

Hi folks, Czar Greg here, and today I am pleased to announce my very first monthly challenge. I am confident you will find it to be fun, interesting, and — most importantly — goofy. So, without further fanfare, here is the challenge: Ride your bike down to your local river and take a video of … Continue reading "SPECIAL REPORT: Czar Issues the July Challenge"

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Live From Minnesota: The Czar-Elect’s Inauguration Speech

Thank you for that fine introduction, Vice-Czar Bing Bong, and I thank all of you esteemed Cycle365-ers and citizens of the world for that warm welcome. I also want to thank you all for electing me to be your Czar of the Monthly Challenge. I am definitely excited to begin serving you in that capacity … Continue reading "Live From Minnesota: The Czar-Elect’s Inauguration Speech"

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SCAVENGER HUNT: On This Day I Found Two of the Last Three Items

Yes, I was hoping to find all three remaining items, but sometimes a person’s hopes do not become reality. ********************************************************************** [As so often happens, the sentence I just wrote reminded me of a life experience: Back when I was an employee for a very results-oriented company, I did my best to play their game. I … Continue reading "SCAVENGER HUNT: On This Day I Found Two of the Last Three Items"

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SCAVENGER HUNT: Major Bore Has More That You Can’t Ignore For Round Four

I’ve still got three more items to find for Round Four of Rich’s excellent Scavenger Hunt – – a brick street, a mini liquor bottle, and a stack of bricks. I’m not sure if I’ll be able to find them here in MY Town. Therefore, I’m thinking I’ll have to make a trip over to … Continue reading "SCAVENGER HUNT: Major Bore Has More That You Can’t Ignore For Round Four"

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Animals & Clouds That Look Like Something Else

Yup, I managed to complete Round 3 of the Cycle365 Scavenger Hunt today. Interestingly, I accomplished that feat even though I was on a completely unrelated cycling mission. Right now I’m typing away and I still don’t know whether I should address the Scavenger Hunt first or the Completely Unrelated Cycling Mission first. I think … Continue reading "Animals & Clouds That Look Like Something Else"

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When It Comes To Scavenging, Vultures & Hyenas Have Got Nothing On Me

I’ve got a lot of pictures to show today, so I’ll dispense with the my usual long stories and personal histories and general ridiculousness. Let’s get right to it, shall we? I was pretty sure I could find a couple of the items at the road construction project going on just a block from my … Continue reading "When It Comes To Scavenging, Vultures & Hyenas Have Got Nothing On Me"

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DESPERATE TIMES REQUIRE DESPERATE MEASURES -Hippocrates

LOSER, QUITTER, WIMP, FAILURE, SLACKER. Those were the words going through my mind yesterday after I was unable to complete Rich’s Checklist #2 in a single day. A new day has dawned! I’m refreshed, re-hydrated, and fully-prepared to finish what I started. I don’t care what it takes, I don’t care how low I have … Continue reading "DESPERATE TIMES REQUIRE DESPERATE MEASURES -Hippocrates"

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Random Strangers Show Up In MY Town And Charm The Heck Out Of The Feeshko And Me

So I was riding north along the Mississippi River Trail, just minding my own business, when I noticed two bicycle riders coming from the opposite direction. They had panniers on their bikes, so I assumed they were on some kind of bike tour or something. Being a bit of a bike tourist myself, I thought … Continue reading "Random Strangers Show Up In MY Town And Charm The Heck Out Of The Feeshko And Me"

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Things I Haven’t Photographed Before And The Reasons Why

It’s possible I MIGHT have shown a picture of the field shown above, but if I did, it wasn’t in the state it is now. Just a couple days ago it was a field of tall prairie grasses, prairie weeds, and prairie bushes. Now it’s a field of ashes and charred sticks. Obviously it was … Continue reading "Things I Haven’t Photographed Before And The Reasons Why"

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The Contents of My Pannier and Other Things I’ve Never Photographed Before

I went on a 25-mile ride today and I didn’t take a single picture. I didn’t stop at all except for a quick pee. So what have I got to offer? Well, it only took the previous two Cycle365 posts to incite me into action. IllinoisRich and Old Grumbleface displayed what’s inside their bike bags. … Continue reading "The Contents of My Pannier and Other Things I’ve Never Photographed Before"

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Speed and Untamed Competitiveness

As far as I can tell, this month’s challenge is to photograph something you’ve never photographed before. Suzanne proposed it a couple days ago, Old Grumbleface seconded it, Lednar Zeppelin thirded it, and Gregblood fourthed it. And there were no objections. (There may be some objections to “thirded” and “fourthed” coming soon though.) So, as … Continue reading "Speed and Untamed Competitiveness"

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A Guided Tour Through Various Landscapes From MY Town To Spring Lake Park, Within Spring Lake Park, And Back To MY Town Via An All-Terrain Vehicle

But First, A Weather Report According to Cycle365 Weather Alarmist, Storm Chaser Greg, April weather has been generally pretty shitty. (He asked me to point out that he is the only Minnesota weatherman who, so far, has the guts to use that meteorological phrase in the public media.) A warming trend will be moving in … Continue reading "A Guided Tour Through Various Landscapes From MY Town To Spring Lake Park, Within Spring Lake Park, And Back To MY Town Via An All-Terrain Vehicle"

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MORE SOUNDS: Planes, Trains, Trucks, and More Trains

I think my enormous success with this month’s “Colorful Sounds” challenge can be attributed to two things: My acute sense of hearing and my incredible luck. I’m pretty sure the hearing thing comes from many years of exercising my eardrums at rock concerts, in the Greg Room in front of my loudspeakers, and blasting loud … Continue reading "MORE SOUNDS: Planes, Trains, Trucks, and More Trains"

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Some Bike Rides Are More Interesting Than Others

The first three-quarters of today’s ride was pretty mundane. It was just another ride in the hills and farms of Washington County just north of MY Town. Nothing to write home about, and certainly nothing to post on Cycle365 about. (Except maybe for my first flat tire of the season.) That all started to change … Continue reading "Some Bike Rides Are More Interesting Than Others"

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HALLELUJAH! It’s Easter Sunday and the Lord and the Temperature Have Risen

Happy Easter everybody, and let me tell you, it sure has been a happy Easter for me so far. Where do I begin to tell you about it? I suppose I should start with the Featured Photo. Can you tell what it is? That’s right, the Easter Bird paid a visit to my house and … Continue reading "HALLELUJAH! It’s Easter Sunday and the Lord and the Temperature Have Risen"

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Minnesota Cyclist Compelled To Stop At Girl Scout Cookie Stand

According to several eye witnesses, a man identified as Gregblood of MY Town, Minnesota, recklessly swerved across a busy street while riding his bike, nearly causing the driver of a Cadillac Escalade to hit the brakes. “The dude seemed to have spotted the cute stand over there,” said the driver when questioned by police, “and … Continue reading "Minnesota Cyclist Compelled To Stop At Girl Scout Cookie Stand"

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The Day Giant Mechanical Monsters Terrorized MY Town

I’m not exactly sure where they came from (Outer space? A parallel universe? An H.G. Wells novel? Hell?) but they arrived mysteriously and wreaked havoc on MY Town today. The next few pictures are just the things I witnessed. I can’t even imagine all the other death and destruction that occurred beyond my view. We … Continue reading "The Day Giant Mechanical Monsters Terrorized MY Town"

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The Conclusion Of “My Colorful, Kaleidoscopic, Kodachrome Day In The Sun”

PART TWO: The Kodachrome of Alien Art I sure left you hanging yesterday with my promises of mind-blowing colors, didn’t I? When you see the things I saw, I’m quite confident you will agree that it was worth the wait. I thank all my Cycle365 friends for your kind comments about the rock formations and … Continue reading "The Conclusion Of “My Colorful, Kaleidoscopic, Kodachrome Day In The Sun”"

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My Colorful, Kaleidoscopic, Kodachrome Day In The Sun

PART ONE: Like St. George, Utah’s Color Country, Zen Trail, and Virgin River Canyon All Rolled Up Into One . . . Only Better My Colorful, Kaleidoscopic, Kodachrome day in the sun was SO colorful and kaleidoscopic and Kadachromatic that I’m going to have to separate it into two posts. Otherwise, I’ll certainly exceed the … Continue reading "My Colorful, Kaleidoscopic, Kodachrome Day In The Sun"

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MY Town’s Wastewater Treatment Plant and Other Pleasantries

In my last post I wrote that it’s very difficult to show COLD in a picture. Today I will add that it’s IMPOSSIBLE to show STINK in a picture. STINK is what got me to investigate further today after picking up my mail at the post office. I had a pretty good idea where it … Continue reading "MY Town’s Wastewater Treatment Plant and Other Pleasantries"

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Smoking May Be Hazardous To One’s Health

Last month, most of us Minnesotan’s were getting pretty darn cocky about our winter weather. I can’t tell you how many times I participated in some form of the following conversation with dog walkers while out walking my own dog: “Nice day, isn’t it?” “Yes, it’s a GREAT day. In fact, this whole winter has … Continue reading "Smoking May Be Hazardous To One’s Health"

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A Disney-Like Day With Only One Hazard

The sunshine was brilliant out the front window of my Greg Room this morning. A light dusting of fresh snow on my car, the mail box, and the streets, made the world look clean and pure and incredibly white. Gentle wisps of wind occasionally blew glistening snowflakes from tree branches to the ground, and each … Continue reading "A Disney-Like Day With Only One Hazard"

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A Different Look At Wintertime Cycling Hazards

Yesterday I made the mistake of saying I wouldn’t post such obvious Minnesota hazards as ice, snow, and frigid temperatures for the February Challenge. Unfortunately that led to a whiney, yet vehement, objection from my cartoon alter-ego. G-2 demanded equal time. He insisted that winter is ten times more hazardous for a dude who is … Continue reading "A Different Look At Wintertime Cycling Hazards"

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Like Life Itself, Cycling Involves One Potential Hazard After Another

Another Month, Another Challenge, and Another Ancient Story Way back when I was in the third grade, I became a Cub Scout. Pathetically, I only lasted about six months before washing out of the program. I never advanced beyond “Bobcat” which is the lowest rank in all of scouting. I never earned a “Wolf” badge … Continue reading "Like Life Itself, Cycling Involves One Potential Hazard After Another"

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ICICLES: Frozen Sticks of Beauty? Or Winter’s Army of Ninja Killers? (An Essay By Storm Chaser Greg)

Words of Introduction Hi folks, Storm Chaser Greg here. I’m pleased to be your guest-writer today, because ICICLES are a very important subject and I believe nobody is more qualified to tell you about them than I am. Let me start with the question of whether icicles are symbols of winter beauty, or ice-cold assassins. … Continue reading "ICICLES: Frozen Sticks of Beauty? Or Winter’s Army of Ninja Killers? (An Essay By Storm Chaser Greg)"

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Along the River and Through the Woods On a Chilly Day

For fans of rivers and view-blockers, don’t worry because I will be showing some pictures of those things pretty soon. First, however, I want to address the “Chilly Day” part of my title. Ask any denizen of MY Town about our winter so far and they reply something like this: “You call THIS a winter? … Continue reading "Along the River and Through the Woods On a Chilly Day"

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AN ARTICLE FROM THE NEW YORK TIMES’ ARTS AND ENTERTAINMENT SECTION

Cycle365 Recognizes New Poet Laureate According to a press release issued by the highly esteemed Cycle365 website this morning, Gregory S. (Gregblood) Garceau has been recognized as the official Poet Laureate of the bicycling world. The announcement was a MAJOR disappointment to 95% of the readership who backed the more mature works of “Suzanne” and … Continue reading "AN ARTICLE FROM THE NEW YORK TIMES’ ARTS AND ENTERTAINMENT SECTION"

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It Was Such A Nice, Pleasant, Uneventful Bike Ride . . . At First

A couple of days ago I noticed that the Reckless Mr. Bing Bong’s steering was kind of sluggish. At the time I thought maybe the reason for that was the heavy load of groceries I was carrying. All the weight was on my right side in a single pannier. I had no doubt that lop-sidedness … Continue reading "It Was Such A Nice, Pleasant, Uneventful Bike Ride . . . At First"

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Really, Really, REALLY Bad Polygon Pictures and Puns

One could argue that I titled this post “Really, Really, REALLY Bad Polygon Pictures and Puns” as a cynical ploy to get people to read it. Can anybody really resist looking at something THAT bad? Probably not. Look how many truly awful movies have gone on to become huge cult classics. “Plan 9 From Outer … Continue reading "Really, Really, REALLY Bad Polygon Pictures and Puns"

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POLYGONY: Having Two or More Polygon Photos in One Post

Okay, I’m a polygonist. I know a lot of people look down on the practice of polygony, but those folks just don’t understand my religion. Like Joseph Smith, I too invented my own religion. It’s called The Church of the Great Outdoors. Perhaps you’ve heard of it? The only thing most people know about The … Continue reading "POLYGONY: Having Two or More Polygon Photos in One Post"

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Fun With Frozen Water (Featuring a Performance By The G-2 Comedy Troupe)

It’s a New Year and even though we’re only half of a day into it, I’m already liking it. I guess that’s because I just got back from a refreshing 90-minute bike ride. I’m going to back up a little and tell you about my exciting New Year’s Eve. For the first time in several … Continue reading "Fun With Frozen Water (Featuring a Performance By The G-2 Comedy Troupe)"

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Season’s Greetings, Blizzard Aftermath, White Christmas In MY Town, Tough Guy Isn’t So Tough After All, and Some Other Observations

Did you hear about the blizzard we had last night? If you were tuned in to Storm Chaser Greg’s reports you did. I think it was the first official BLIZZARD we’ve had in MY Town in several years. (I’m not going to look up when we had the last one though, because I’m afraid Google … Continue reading "Season’s Greetings, Blizzard Aftermath, White Christmas In MY Town, Tough Guy Isn’t So Tough After All, and Some Other Observations"

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SPECIAL REPORT: Christmas Shopping In MY Town

Welcome viewers and thank you for tuning in to this Greg News Channel special report. We know the world has many questions about the state of Christmas Shopping in Hastings, Minnesota during the world-wide Corona Virus pandemic. How is the “shop local” initiative working out? Is business up or down? Will the restaurants and bars … Continue reading "SPECIAL REPORT: Christmas Shopping In MY Town"

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Am I Giving Up On Collections Too Soon? No Way!

I just finished writing a different post a few minutes ago. It was from yesterday’s ride, but it didn’t have any collections. Scott is very inspirational and his inspiring post this afternoon inspired me to add another post from today’s ride in which a few collections are the ONLY redeeming quality. That’s all I have … Continue reading "Am I Giving Up On Collections Too Soon? No Way!"

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THE RECKLESS MR. BING BONG: Athlete Extraordinaire

“A bicycle does not live by one sport alone.” -The Reckless Mr. Bing Bong Those are words my bike believes deep down into the core of his drive train, and he practices what he preaches. Sure, The Reckless Mr. Bing Bong has gotten most of his worldwide fame for having his pedals turned by my … Continue reading "THE RECKLESS MR. BING BONG: Athlete Extraordinaire"

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These Are A Few Of My Favorite Collections

I have no time for raindrops and roses, whiskers on kittens, or any other such pleasantries. This month’s challenge is all about COLLECTIONS, so in this post I’ll be displaying some pictures I took of various collections. Plus, I’ll be accompanying each of the photos with some new lyrics I’ve written for that classic tune … Continue reading "These Are A Few Of My Favorite Collections"

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Hastings’ California

When I was watching Storm Chaser Greg’s special report this morning I pretty much blew it off as another one of his exaggerated and irrational “dangerous” weather alerts. Like most forecasters all over the country, he thrives on sensationalistic weather reporting to keep the viewers watching, and he’s usually wrong. This time, however, I should … Continue reading "Hastings’ California"

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Minnesota’s Baltimore-D.C. Corridor

Those of us who are experts in urban classification terminology know that the area that surrounds Baltimore and our nation’s capitol is technically called the Washington-Baltimore-Arlington, DC-MD-VA-WV-PA Combined Statistical Area. (It’s true, look it up.) Good god, I can’t be repeatedly typing that ridiculously long name here. I’d be writing all day and I’d get … Continue reading "Minnesota’s Baltimore-D.C. Corridor"

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Wearing Out My Welcome With A Few Insignificant Collections

I’m worried about myself. At first I posted here maybe once a week. Then a couple times a week. Recently I’ve been writing stuff on Cycle365 almost every other day, but today marks my third day in a row. What next? Two or three times a day? I promise to back off before that happens. … Continue reading "Wearing Out My Welcome With A Few Insignificant Collections"

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The Exciting Visit To MY Town’s “Little Louisville” And The Collections That Resulted From It

Part One: The Bad News It is with great embarrassment that I must start this post with a couple of confessions. First, my bike trip to “Little Louisville” wasn’t nearly as exciting as I made it sound in the title. Second, there IS no “Little Louisville” in MY Town. I guess I got too caught … Continue reading "The Exciting Visit To MY Town’s “Little Louisville” And The Collections That Resulted From It"

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Happy Thanksgiving From The Illinois of the North

Up to this point in my series, I’ve only shown some of the international neighborhoods of MY Town. There are, however, several officially-recognized United Statesian areas. Today I’ll be touring one of them, and I hope you’ll join me. There is a vast area on the outskirts of MY Town that looks almost exactly like … Continue reading "Happy Thanksgiving From The Illinois of the North"

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Little Australia: A Tour of Minnesota’s “Land Down Deep”

One thing you probably didn’t know about MY Town is that, for a city its size, it has amazing cultural, biological, and landscapeological diversity. You could say that MY Town is kind of like much larger cities, such as Chicago, San Francisco, or New York City, which have their own little pockets of diversity. (Little … Continue reading "Little Australia: A Tour of Minnesota’s “Land Down Deep”"

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