Storm Chaser Greg Battles The Wind
It was windy today. I don’t know exactly HOW windy, but my extensive experience in weather-related subjects tells me it was coming out of the west-north-west at approximately 95-miles per hour. (See Footnote)
That incredible wind speed comes as quite a coincidence since, just yesterday, Old Grumbleface, The Navigator, and I were discussing the rare weather phenomenon called a “derecho.”
Okay, so the wind was blasting. Big deal. I had to go bike riding anyway because I had a job to do. You probably didn’t know this, but I am a professional storm chaser and TV weatherman. I viewed this major wind event as an opportunity to display my on-line weather reporting skills. Check it out:
Pretty darn good, huh? I take my storm chaser job seriously, but not so seriously that I couldn’t appreciate a couple of campaign signs after almost getting carried away to the Land of Oz like a modern-day Dorothy and Toto.
(We interrupt this gallery of campaign signs to bring you another weather update from Storm Chaser Greg.)
(Thank you, Storm Chaser Greg. We now return you to your regularly scheduled programming.)
I sure hope those beautiful view-blockers can withstand this onslaught of derecho/hurricane strength winds — at least until all the leaves fall off. After that, I’m okay with a blizzard coming along and blowing them all down and burying them under six feet of snow. Then I’ll be able to climb that hill and have an unobstructed view of MY Town.
(This is an important weather update from the MY Town Weather Center. Storm Chaser Greg has some new developments to report.)
Not only did your reporter see a plastic bag flying down the street like a tumbleweed gone wild, but he also saw flags extending straight out from the flag poles, and he endured leaves dive bombing him from above. A couple of times he actually said swear words to the wind.
(Footnote: Any facts and figures in this article that are presented in bold type could be slightly exaggerated.)
gregblood
Hi. My name is Greg and I ride my bike a lot. That is to say, I ride my bike almost every day. I go on long rides and short rides. Sunny rides, cloudy rides, and rainy rides. I like commuting, errand-running, day-tripping, overnighting, and touring on my bike. I ride on city streets, highways, gravel, single track, and snow with equal enthusiasm. Sometimes I ride fast and sometimes I ride slow. I try to keep my feet on the pedals at stop lights and I do not dismount when I hop up on a curb. I have a roadie bike, a mountain bike and a touring bike. I try to accept any challenge a bike ride can throw at me without complaint. But I don't like bugs.
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News bulletin: According to sources, the Weather Channel has fired Jim Cantore and hired Greg as his replacement. Film at 11:00.
Funniest message and best use of bold type ever! Thank you.
You are so brave, Storm Chaser Greg! I see that you braved all that UV radiation, too. Helluva day to be out there, for sure!
I think it would be funny if all those evangelicals voted for Jesus and then got a shock that they elected a brown person from the Middle East instead of that guy they have a picture of on the wall.
That’s a good one. I, too, like to imagine the shock that many of those conservative Christians would get after learning they voted for a man of color from the Middle East. It reminds me of a movie called “The Distinguished Gentleman” in which Eddie Murphy got elected to Congress because he had the same name as the previous, highly-revered, deceased, white congressman from that district. Most of the voters had no idea he was black because he didn’t personally appear on any campaign ads. In fact, I think he used the same ads that his predecessor used in the past. I thought the movie was pretty clever.
Would love to go storm chasing with you Greg, especially those ones with sharks
“Sharknado” was a really good movie . . . at least for about 10 minutes here and there. There was a series of weird, science fiction movies like that. I remember one of them involved sharks swimming in the snow and attacking skiers at a ski resort. And then there was my personal favorite in which President Lincoln and his Cabinet saved the U.S. by shooting thousands of zombies with 1860s-era guns. Again, those films get boring after about ten minutes, but it’s fun to fall asleep for a half-hour and then wake up to Abe Lincoln bravely leading his men into a battle with flesh-eating zombies.
Even if the execution of those movies isn’t very good, the ideas are hilarious to me. To the extent that anything I do is funny at all, I like to think it’s because the ideas are similarly absurd.
I kept thinking of the movie Twister as I was reading this. Didn’t see any pictures of flying cows or tumbling barns though.
“Twister” was notable for its lack of sense of humor — except for the scene when the storm chasers were discussing the storm and somebody said something about “an F-5 tornado” and all of a sudden everybody gasped in reverence. When I saw the movie all those years ago, I laughed at the flying cows. That was before my brother, who is a contractor, told me about getting called to fix somebody’s roof shortly after a tornado and he actually had to drive around dead cows on the road.
I can remember thinking when I first watched that movie that it may not have much appeal for people who actually live in tornado prone areas.
The winds arrived here today — spawned a few field fires . . . .
And, and underground natural gas storage (in Livingston County) site is leaking gas to the surface — now THAT would be an event if the cap rock totally fractures. As it is, some farm wells produce flammable water — no joke.
You are a brave man to face those winds — enjoyed the photos.
Jesus? A third party candidate running on the Latino ticket? 😉
Wow!! Brilliant film making! You are so tough.