The Last Days of Storm Chaser Greg

It’s been a tough month for Storm Chaser Greg. November was supposed to be the time for him to showcase his storm chasing skills. He should have been reporting on disastrous blizzards, icy roads, freezing rain, blistering winds and backbreaking slush. Instead, he was reduced to exaggerating the danger of warmer than average temperatures, bright sunshine, a few clouds, a little breeze, a high barometric pressure system, and one light dusting of snow. BORING! He was feeling worthless. His life had no meaning.

Even his trusty Doppler Weather Radar Contraption couldn’t cheer him up.

So he stomped that $1,000,000 piece of weather forecasting technology.

Storm Chaser Greg went out for a bike ride anyway. According to eyewitnesses, he could be seen all over town, muttering things like “where, oh where, are the weather disasters?” “The only disaster I can see is my reputation.” “My life is a sham.” “My weather reporting is faker than all the fake news on Fox & Newsmax combined.”

In the final hours of his life, he smoked a pack of Lucky Strikes . . .

. . . he wolfed down a bag of Doritos . . .

. . . he chugged a can of cheap beer . . .

. . . he inhaled an aerosol can of hydrocarbon solvent. Then he summoned his camera crew to record his last weather report.

Symbolically, he went home and set himself on fire. Like his career, Storm Chaser Greg’s life went down in flames. (My other alter-ego seems to be looking on with an inappropriately huge smile.)

Don’t worry folks. Like many characters in novels, TV shows, movies and soap operas, Storm Chaser Greg could be resurrected whenever I deem it necessary.

1 response to "The Last Days of Storm Chaser Greg"

  1. By: Lednar De Nalloh Posted: December 1, 2021

    I’m sure a storm will come along eventually and you’ll get your enthusiasm back for the chase

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