These Are A Few Of My Favorite Collections

I have no time for raindrops and roses, whiskers on kittens, or any other such pleasantries. This month’s challenge is all about COLLECTIONS, so in this post I’ll be displaying some pictures I took of various collections. Plus, I’ll be accompanying each of the photos with some new lyrics I’ve written for that classic tune from The Sound of Music. MY song is called “My Favorite Collections.” Go ahead and sing along if you’d like.

Leaves fall in the fall, they invade like the plague,
You rake ’em all up and you stuff ’em in a bag,
Then the bags spread out like nasty infections,
These are a few of my favorite collections.
Old yellow houses and yards full of junk,
They look like the work of a crazy old drunk.
I wouldn’t enter without some protection,
But still it’s become a favorite collection.
Uneaten tacos and packets of sauces,
Old refried beans that some jackass just tosses,
Taco Bell litter and other ejections,
These are a few of my favorite collections.
Bunches of blue signs and bright yellow posts,
Haunting and frightful like colorful ghosts,
Immobile specters who have no direction,
Yes, this is another favorite collection.
Six broke-down spreaders, for fertilizer and seeds,
That’s five more of those things than anyone needs,
This must be one of my weirdest selections,
Yet it’s still one of my favorite collections.
Newspaper vending machines in a row,
My groovy bike and me in the window,
Those boxes were once scattered all over town,
Now they do nothing and that gets me down.
Big piles of pine cones and Mister Bing Bong,
This is becoming a really dumb song,
I know I’m going in too many directions,
But these are a few of my favorite collections.
When there’s foot-balls,
That say “Pack-ers”
And I’m feeling sad,
I simply commit a small act of vandalism . . .
. . . and then I don’t feeeeel sooooo baaaaad!

19 response to "These Are A Few Of My Favorite Collections"

  1. By: Suzanne Posted: December 13, 2020

    When Greg writes a song
    You think what can go wrong
    If it sounds like music
    It’s just Mr. Bing Bong…

    • By: gregblood Posted: December 14, 2020

      Yes, apparently something did go wrong,
      But don’t blame The Reckless Mr. Bing Bong.
      He warned, “had you gone on The Gong Show to premiere your song,
      You would have gotten the world’s quickest ‘GONG’

  2. By: Rich-Illinois Posted: December 13, 2020

    Nice collections, really like the house and all the stuff — they must be fans of Jeff Foxworthy –> put all that stuff in the front yard where people can SEE it!

    Poor snowman collapsed from all the leaf raking.

    • By: gregblood Posted: December 14, 2020

      Rich, I must commend you on your ability to look at photographs with an eye toward what’s going on “behind the scenes.” I didn’t even notice that poor, exhausted snowman. You make me feel so un-attentive. I mean, what if it had been an actual person suffering a raking-induced heart attack?

  3. By: Lednar De Nalloh Posted: December 14, 2020

    I was happily singing along, until it got to the footballs, then the rhyming went pear shaped and the author in a state of vindictive, paranoid, delusion fantasised about desecrating the holy ‘G’ trade mark. GOPackGo.

    • By: gregblood Posted: December 14, 2020

      Congratulations to your favorite team. They are having a fine season . . . again. The team from Wisconsin has been blessed with amazing quarterbacks for more than two decades. But Rodgers is getting old and sometime within the next few years, they’ll be in big trouble.

      I just thought it was a little disrespectful to put a basketful of Packer items in a Minnesota grocery store. It took all the restraint I possess to just spray paint them . . . I really wanted to deflate them.

  4. By: NancyG Posted: December 14, 2020

    We have a house similar to that in our immediate neighborhood — almost like that. A collection of what? I am not sure.

    Quite the collection of collections. The song …. hmmmmmmm.

    • By: gregblood Posted: December 14, 2020

      The song … hmmmmmmm.

      Ouch! Are you saying I’m probably not going to be recognized as the next Rogers and Hammerstein? It’s okay because that seems to be the general consensus regarding this post. For better or worse, you’re probably right. There is one positive I can hang onto, though: I bet Rogers and Hammerstein never wrote any of their show tunes as hastily as I did.

  5. By: BobinVT Posted: December 14, 2020

    I’m thinking the footballs might be part of some cultural exchange program with your neighboring state. Perhaps there’s a similar pile of Viking branded footballs somewhere in Wisconsin. And please don’t deflate them. You might be subject to a four post suspension, and we wouldn’t want that.

    • By: gregblood Posted: December 15, 2020

      I’d like to think you are right about there being a basket of Vikings footballs somewhere in Wisconsin, but it’s highly unlikely. When it comes to football, there is absolutely no diversity in that state. You’re either a Packer fan or you’re a nobody.

  6. By: Scooter Posted: December 14, 2020

    Well, well Mr G. Blood. I have to say you give me more cause to laugh out loud than anyone else I know. Thanks, it clears the sinuses.

    • By: gregblood Posted: December 15, 2020

      Thanks, Mr. Scooter. Maybe I should book a few gigs at medical clinics. I could sing my song to sick people and clear up sinuses all over the midwest.

  7. By: The Navigator Posted: December 15, 2020

    That is one my least favourite songs. I hated it as a kid when we had to sing it in music class. So your hilarious lyrics are my most favourite version of that song. Why do all the footballs look they are all pre-used and muddy?

    • By: gregblood Posted: December 15, 2020

      Yes, “My Favorite Things” is one of the sappiest songs ever written. I am so sorry you had to sing it as a kid. The song I remember having to sing in 8th-grade music class went something like this: “Old King Cole was a merry old soul, and a merry old soul was he. He called for his pipe and he called for his bowl, and he called for his fiddlers three.” A couple of friends and I made up some alternate lyrics for that one (much too obscene and scatological to print here) and, during our many rehearsals we’d actually sing those lyrics secretly . . . or so we thought. Like, who would hear three quiet voices among a choir of 30 or 40 kids? Our music teacher caught on to what we were doing (probably because we’d eye each other during the dirty words and then bust out laughing.) He was a pretty cool guy. He pulled us aside and said, “I know you guys won’t be singing those words at the concert, right?” We said “right” but we didn’t mean it. But when it came time to stand on those risers and sing in front of our parents, the school staff, the nuns, and the priest, (this was Catholic School) we backed off. At least I did.

    • By: gregblood Posted: December 15, 2020

      I guess I exceeded the maximum number of characters again even though the administrators generously upped the max. I didn’t have enough room to respond to your question about the muddy footballs. I guess the football manufacturers were trying to achieve that trendy “rustic” look. After all, the Packers are one of the oldest American football teams. Nothing — aside from drunkenness — conveys Packer history like dirt and grime and ugliness. I hope Australia’s biggest Packer fan doesn’t see this. Sorry Led.

      • By: Lednar De Nalloh Posted: December 17, 2020

        Of course you must have known I was the nosey type who reads comments too

        “And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my Packers. And you will know I am a Cheesehead when I lay my vengeance upon you”

  8. By: Rocky Posted: December 15, 2020

    Thanks for another great laugh! I wish I had your talent!

    • By: gregblood Posted: December 15, 2020

      Rocky, when I watch your videos and when I see you riding 42 miles per day, day after day, I wish I had YOUR talent.

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