This Old Chap Tours Good Britain

‘ello lords and ladies of Cycle 365. I’m bloody well privileged to present the fourth installment of the Diversity Tour of MY Town. This one is dedicated to DJG — from whom I’ve learned almost everything I know about England.

Obviously, there is no way MY Town’s British enclave could be as great as Great Britain. That’s why our little English settlement is called “Good Britain.” It just doesn’t have the ancient history, significant architecture and sophisticated culture to be called “GREAT.”

Still, for what it’s worth, I’m going to lead you on a photographic tour of Good Britain. I’m sure you will see many parallels to Great Britain.

We’ll start with this historic home that dates all the way back to the 19th Century. Worth noting is the unique thatched roof. There is nothing like it in the real world.

As I said earlier, sometimes Good Britain doesn’t quite match up to Great Britain. Here’s an example: This fine structure is the Buckingham Palace of Hastings. We call it Luckyham Palace.

I should have fact-checked this beforehand, but I THINK the Episcopalian Church is an offshoot of The Church of England.

Little Stonehenge

Like GREAT Britain, Good Britain isn’t all quaintness and/or grand spectacle. No, Good Britain has its own abandoned factories from the Industrial Revolution era.

This looks like the bad part of Liverpool.

I was glad to escape that industrial eyesore and get back to some of the top tourist sites. Many tourists come to both Great Britain and Good Britain for the social houses and taverns. In better, non-Covid times, these gathering places would be filled with people tipping a pint of Bass Ale.

London has the Famous Cock Tavern. We have the Busted Nut. Enough said.

The Reckless Mr. Bing Bong rests at the base of the Big Benjamin Tower. In ten minutes, Big Benjamin will start binging and bonging to signal the 2 o’clock hour.

Ah, it’s nearly 2:00. In Good Britain, that means it’s almost time for a cup of tea.

There is no finer tradition in all the British Kingdom than afternoon tea. And there is no better place to sip a cup of tea than on the banks of the River Thames Jr.

Before leaving Good Britain, I thought it would be a good idea to bring you to a very important historic site. It was only a short distance to the grounds of the famous Battle of Hastings.

It might not be the Battle of Hastings you learned about in history class though. This was the Hastings, MN version of the Battle of Hastings.

At this site in the year 2006, Wilbert (The Conqueror) Gunderson had a huge screaming battle with Hortense Guideson who accused him of leaving the toilet seat open inside the nearby portable loo. Nobody knows for sure who conquered who, but they got married six months later.

I’ll end this tour of Good Britain with a picture of the jolly fellow that Englanders call “Father Christmas.” You can’t hear him, but he’s saying “Cheerio.”

Hi. My name is Greg and I ride my bike a lot. That is to say, I ride my bike almost every day. I go on long rides and short rides. Sunny rides, cloudy rides, and rainy rides. I like commuting, errand-running, day-tripping, overnighting, and touring on my bike. I ride on city streets, highways, gravel, single track, and snow with equal enthusiasm. Sometimes I ride fast and sometimes I ride slow. I try to keep my feet on the pedals at stop lights and I do not dismount when I hop up on a curb. I have a roadie bike, a mountain bike and a touring bike. I try to accept any challenge a bike ride can throw at me without complaint. But I don't like bugs.

12 response to "This Old Chap Tours Good Britain"

  1. By: DJG Posted: November 24, 2020

    Greg, many thanks for the dedication it was most appreciated. Loved the similarities between Good and Great. at times I was not sure which side of the Atlantic I was looking at. Great to see you enjoying your afternoon cup, personally I can’t stand the stuff.

    • By: gregblood Posted: November 24, 2020

      Thank you — as a real live Englander — for validating my opinion of tea. I’m a coffee guy. The last two times I’ve had tea (I swear this is true) I’ve gotten the sweats a few minutes afterward and then vomited up the brown liquid as pure as it went down.

      (Keep this a secret between you and me, but that tea cup in the picture above was empty.)

  2. By: NancyG Posted: November 24, 2020

    Ah, such a nice bimble around your town and along some snickets. And you got it all well sorted to share with us. I am keen on all your stories and tours.

    • By: gregblood Posted: November 25, 2020

      Thank you, Nancy. I’ve got a couple of ideas in mind for my visit to MY Town’s Seattle district. I just need a little more oom-pah-pah to tackle those steep hills that lead from our version of the Puget Sound to our version of Mt. Rainier.

      • By: NancyG Posted: November 26, 2020

        I am on the edge of my seat in anticipation of your tour d’Puget Sound. ;’-)

  3. By: Scooter Posted: November 24, 2020

    As usual, I’m not fooled, old chap. I don’t for a minute believe that’s tea in that cup. More likely a Surly 14 Barleywine Ale?

    • By: gregblood Posted: November 25, 2020

      Oh, if it were only true. I really like high-quality ales, and I often splurge for some really good ones. I’ve seen the Surly 14 in beer stores, but, WOW, the PRICE! Well, maybe one time would be okay. I’ll report back.

  4. By: Lednar De Nalloh Posted: November 25, 2020

    An awfully decent ride and frightfully spiffing write up. And you captured the grey miserable English weather so well too.

    I’m intrigued about the Gunderson story.

    Pip pip and cheerio

    • By: gregblood Posted: November 25, 2020

      Thanks for noticing that cold, gray, damp weather. I meant to make a point of that in my post but as I got caught up in other junk like the Gunderson Battle of Hastings, I totally forgot to do that.

      Also, I forgot to post the picture that I thought was going to be the highlight of my tour. Too late for many readers, I suppose, but this morning I added that awesome picture of Little Stonehenge. I hope everybody will go back and check out my picture of that site, which is so important to the pre-historic culture of Good Britain.

  5. By: The Navigator Posted: November 27, 2020

    Lol, very well done again, Greg. The Famous Cock and Busted Nut did make me chuckle out loud. I am pretty sure that the Episcopalians are called Anglicans in England (and Australia), but yes, I do think they are Church of England. Not so sure I’ve ever really understood the theological difference between the Anglicans and Catholics. I would have liked to seen the video of “Big Ben” clock tower chiming.

    • By: gregblood Posted: November 27, 2020

      Emily, I have to make a confession. You would have to wait a very long time for MY Town’s Big Benjamin to chime. That clock has read 1:53 for several years. It never moves. And even if it did move, there is no chime. When I took that picture it was really only about 10:45 a.m. But it was fun to think of it as being time for afternoon tea. Not everything I write is fake, but Big Benjamin’s time was.

      I don’t know much about the difference between Anglicans and Catholics either, but I think it has something to do with Henry VIII, who was a Trump-like figure that got pissed off and separated England from Rome.

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