UNBEARAMETRICAL

According to Storm Chaser Greg, the word “unbearametrical” means “such really high pressure in the air that it makes me feel like I have to barf.” In fact, he’s the weather dude who coined the term. And that didn’t just come from some bum off the street talking. No, Storm Chaser Greg is one of the world’s most bizarre meteorologists.

It is any wonder why I, as one of Cycle365’s most bizarre challenge czars, tuned in to Channel 6 this morning for a weather report? The Doppler Radar Contraption had some pretty dire news, but I had to see Storm Chaser Greg’s live report from road.

WOW! His report seems so much scarier than the lukewarm weather reporting from the biased “mainstream media.” For example, Channel 5 claimed it was a beautiful day out there, with low windspeed, bright sunshine, and temperatures in the low 40s.

[As an aside, I just noticed I typed a comma after the word “sunshine.” I recently learned that’s called an “Oxford Comma.” According to recent writing standards, there is no need for a comma before the word “and” at the end of a list. Sometimes I use the Oxford Comma and sometimes I don’t. Until I heard the following song a few months ago, I didn’t even know what an Oxford Comma was.] (Warning: The song contains an Oxford swear word.)

I’m a tough guy, but before I could take the chance of biking into those conditions, I had to test the terrible humidity and unbearable atmospheric pressure with a doggy walk. It didn’t seem so bad.

The Feeshko and I were taking care of our next door neighbors’ dogs this weekend while they were attending their son’s defense of his Ph.D. dissertation at the University of Iowa. So we took Diggity, Mandy and Blossom (no Oxford Comma this time) for a walk. It was fun.

I’ve seen a few pictures of pets recently, so I figured it was okay to take this picture of The Feeshko trying to handle the three dogs.

In turn, she took one of me, deftly handling, from left to right, Mandy, Diggity and Blossom. (No Oxford Comma)

I only took a couple of pictures from my bike ride. One of them is pretty nice. The other one is pretty sad.

NICE: The leaves are almost all gone, so the view-blockers didn’t obscure my view of Lake Rebecca.

SAD: The humidity and barometric pressure seems to have overcome an albino squirrel. Rest in peace my friend.

Well, I’ve got to start thinking about next month’s challenge now. In the meantime, I’ll be looking for more weather reports, and I’d also be interested in whether you use Oxford Commas or not.

Hi. My name is Greg and I ride my bike a lot. That is to say, I ride my bike almost every day. I go on long rides and short rides. Sunny rides, cloudy rides, and rainy rides. I like commuting, errand-running, day-tripping, overnighting, and touring on my bike. I ride on city streets, highways, gravel, single track, and snow with equal enthusiasm. Sometimes I ride fast and sometimes I ride slow. I try to keep my feet on the pedals at stop lights and I do not dismount when I hop up on a curb. I have a roadie bike, a mountain bike and a touring bike. I try to accept any challenge a bike ride can throw at me without complaint. But I don't like bugs.

9 response to "UNBEARAMETRICAL"

  1. By: BobinVT Posted: November 20, 2021

    Hmmm don’t tell Storm Chaser Greg, but since I’m not a fan of hot weather, I have to say low-wind, sunny and temps in the low to mid-40s sound just about perfect. As to the commas, I remember my high school English teacher (I can’t remember her name) pounding into us never to put a comma before that and in a list. She must have been ahead of her time. And ever since, it’s always driven me just a little bit crazy to see a comma before an and. Of course, I think to compensate I tend to over-comma everything else.

    • By: gregblood Posted: November 20, 2021

      Thanks for your weather preferences, and even more so, for your Oxford Comma response. I share your over-commatization problem. When in doubt, I always seem to throw in a comma. I think I was taught in about 4th grade to put the comma before “and.” Nobody in high school or college ever corrected me, so I stuck with it for the longest time. Now I go back and forth and I’ll keep doing that until somebody says something.

  2. By: Rich-Illinois Posted: November 20, 2021

    All this comma talk has caused me to become comma-tose.

    • By: Lednar De Nalloh Posted: November 20, 2021

      I’m becoming comma-tense.

    • By: gregblood Posted: November 20, 2021

      I will call a commambulance to pick you up.

  3. By: Lednar De Nalloh Posted: November 20, 2021

    Are we becoming grammar nazis. BTW shouldn’t double apostraphies only be used denoting what someone has physically spoken.

    • By: gregblood Posted: November 20, 2021

      I’m not a punctuation policeman, but some of us call double apostrophes “quotation marks.” You’re right about using them for actual quotes, but they can also be used to indicate specific words, phrases and titles. At least that’s what I learned in 4th grade.

    • By: Rich-Illinois Posted: November 20, 2021

      After hearing someone I know correct their granddaughters grammar — I stepped in and said, C’mon girls, I’ll learn you how to talk good. 🙂

  4. By: Suzanne Posted: November 24, 2021

    I am really interested in commas and I like grammar. I don’t use the Oxford comma although sometimes it is necessary for clarity. I probably use too many commas and have started to apply German comma rules to English. I love Steven King’s “On Writing: A Memoir of the Craft”. It has the best guidelines I ever found and is a great read – if you like that sort of thing. I probably should read it again, I think I have gotten rusty. And sometimes I am rather pedantic. I hate it when people use I in the accusative case. I’m more lenient with who and whom.

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